Instant Messaging. Old School.
Mapped from the DNA of Pigeons

Bird-Alert Messaging Birds are carrier pidgeons specially trained to detect and locate various telecommunication devices. Bird-Alert loosely guarantees message delivery, for the most part. After all, birds are prone to eating, mating, traveling and avoiding hunters and vice presidents. Speed of delivery is dependant on network traffic and peak usage times may cause delays in Bird-Alert. This service is provided free of charge by Bird-Alert. Other network charges may apply.